So here it goes the good the bad and the ugly!

I collapsed with no feeling unable to use any of my limbs...nothing would move I was basically paralyzed. I could talk and boy did I talk...it was hard because my face would swell and it hurt to open my eyes and I could only see out 2 little slits for my eyes...what do you think of when you are down there basically a blob on the floor...wow I can't move...WTF is up with this. I would go in out and it got harder and harder to talk to Jeff. I had songs going through my head. Yes, I have a soundtrack in my head. I saw this ugly green carpet. I kept yelling why aren't you taking me to the hospital? The EMTs were asking me questions...like my name the date what drugs I take etc...am I pregnant...I said f'ing no..lol who cares if I am pregnant...just get me to the hospital so I can move again...well other things going on is I feel as if I am outside of my body looking in...sort of like seeing my self in 3rd person. I remember going out one time and I felt that it was it...I was dying..I said I love you Jeff, please tell my daddy and Junior and the kids etc that I love them...I remember saying I am going Jeff...he would call my name. He says I was never out for very long...I didn't see the light or anything like that but I did feel as if I was not alone in that darkness...I actually came to and remember yelling and cursing worse than a sailor. I sounded just like my mother when she was mad. I remember when they picked me up under my armpits I was behind myself seeing them pick me up as if I was a piece of meat or a dead animal..I felt so violated or what is the word...no dignity..I was in my night shirt with my ass hanging out...at least I wore the granny underwear and not a thong...that would have been ugly...they loaded me in a chair thing like you would hang a deer from because the stretcher wouldn't come up the stairs...I kept my eyes closed because it hurt so much to open them. I remember feeling mama with me...I felt her every time I opened my mouth...loud things would be yelled at everyone..I kept thinking will I ever walk will I move again...it was crazy.