Well, here I sit wondering what to say or blog about. I should write all my ideas down that wind around in my head as I try to fall asleep. My brain never stops. I always tell Jeff it is like a hamster in a wheel always spining around. I always mull over the days events or even past events. I sometimes almost obsess about what you could have said differently. You know we all do that I just do it to an excess. I am very lucky that I do fall asleep pretty easily after awhile.
One thing I keep going back over is what could I have done differently with my life. I can't see what should be any different. The course it took was the right course to prepare me for the rest of my life. I think with everything that has happened in my life I should write a book. I always say that but isn't it true everyone has their fair share of things. Had I gone on to college after high school would I have not gotten married so young at 19? If I had done that, I would have never lived 3 years in Japan. I would have never known my ex husband. Who always was not so bad. He and I just changed and went on different paths. So since I didn't go to college, I got married and moved away. When we returned to the states, since he was in the Air Force, that brought us to Whiteman Air Force Base in Missouri. I would have never came here on my own and frankly I wouldn't be as happy as I am today. I would have never met Jeff. If his first wife didn't make him get off active duty and return to Missouri we would have never met. Our lives have been on similar courses for years. If my heart had not been broken so badly by an ex boyfriend prior to meeting Jeff, I would have never gone online to date...that is just not something I would do. I just figured what the hell, all the ones I met in bars and at my job turned out to be duds and I didn't know them either just like online so there was no difference. I decided that I could do better and I did. Not once since meeting Jeff have I ever looked back and missed my old life. I feel as if that was someone else's life. Of course I have memories that will last forever but that is just what they are, memories. What I have is real. One thing we have always agreed on as a couple is that we don't keep anything from each other. I knew going into my relationship with Jeff that he and his ex were just separated. He told me that upfront. His divorce came very quick and we have been together ever since. We told each other the truth and that is what keeps us going today. I know at the end of the day he has got my back and I have his. You could do just about anything but if you lie to me you better hope it was worth it. lol
Those of you that know me well know that is the truth.
Tomorrow we will have been married for 9 years and in July we will have been together 10 years. The day he proposed he asked me if I really wanted this and he held the little box up while we sat at the light in Sedalia. I said yes, I do. Why? I responded because being with you is the only thing in my life that makes sense or has ever made since. Not sure why we waited 3 months to get engaged and 7 months more to get married. I should have married him right away and what would he say to all that....DITTO my love...Ditto!
No comments:
Post a Comment